Thanks to all of you for your support. If you are wondering if it makes a difference, it does. When all is lost and nothing can be fixed having ones pain acknowledged and shared can make a world of difference. It is still hard for me to communicate, that is why it took so long for me to reply. I am extremely thankful for the kindness and support of Ron's family, for, in their own time of grief, acknowledging my loss and Ron and my place in each other's lives. Ron was buried with his parents and younger brother in the cemetary in his family's Parish in Darien, where he went to Catholic School until 8th grade. There were services at the mortuary by a Presyterian Minister. My aunt, who is a Spiritualist Reverend in East Aurora read a poem from the Egyptian Book of the Dead, at my request, and commital services were done by both reverends. Mass cards were sent by members of the Parish. I figure if all that doesnt get him into heaven it had to at least give everyone in pergatory a good laugh. I like to think of it as a potluck funeral. Ron's Grandmother, who turned 90 last fall, gave me offical family status by scolding me for not coming to visit often enough. I will chuckle for the rest of my days at the memory of her standing up halfway through commital and announcing "I can't sit this long!" Ron and I had matching crystals that we used to touch to each other in greeting and farewell. I would yell "Power People, Unite!" He was wonderful at humoring me. He was buried with his on. I am very greatful to his family for keeping up the tradition of humoring me. I am going to make Ron his own web page, but I think it will be alittle while. Meanwhile I put my favorite picture up. It was taken last christmas eve, and is how I will always remember Ron. It is the exact look he would give me during the yelling of "Power People....!" he he. The link at the bottom of the page is the poem my aunt read. While driving to the memorial services I pushed all kinds of buttons on the radio and said "the song that comes on next is from Ron". The song under the picture is it. Thank you for letting me ramble on. I am lucky to be humored by so many people :o). PAX et LVX Laurette Here is a link that might be useful: Ron

What a lovely idea-- wish I'd thought of it for my BFF oh so many years ago. They also went to Ireland for their honeymoon (and just returned from their third trip). In addition to the oxalis, I'd consider including lavender also. If either of them are irish themselves, you could use their family tartan-- some are absolutely lovely (some, not so much lol). You could also incorporate celtic knots, pint glasses, lace and linen. Of course, you could lean a bit more to the irish tavern style-- drop the lace and make some sort of tavern sign incorporating their soon-to-be shared last name... something like O'Malley's Pig Snout Tavern.. Flannery's Black Sheep Tavern.. etc. I've seen some great chocolate stout recipes.. and not sure where you'd get it but I found stout ice cream *very* rich and interesting. It would make a great adult sundae with chocolate or fudge sauce. Champagne and green punch are good ideas-- but I'd be inclined to serve Shandy's and perhaps other irish cocktails. Looking forward to seeing how you pull this together!

Scotty, thanks for posting this. I lost five people close to me last year and with three of them the last words I said to them were "I love you" and their answer? "I love you, too!" Can't beat that.

I have a card on my frig decorated with hearts and gingerbread men that my little 7 y/o neighbor's girl made for me. What all the "I love yous" on that card actually mean is, "Thank you for the Christmas present." After I read it, I hugged her and said, "I love you too sweetheart!" I also have an air compressor and after pumping up bicycle tires, little kids tell me, "I love you" all the time, and I respond the same way. They're really just demonstrating appreciation, and I'm graciously accepting. Of course I don't really "love" them, but so what? If I didn't respond "in kind" all it would accomplish would be to hurt their feelings, and why would I want to do that to them? From what you've described, I think your SS may be afraid of being abandoned and/or rejected and is seeking your reassurance. I don't think your reluctance to provide him with the reassurance he needs has anything to do with your desire to be "honest." Maybe the real reason you don't want to provide him with the reassurance he needs is because doing so would make you feel "disloyal" to your own child? That saying "I love you" to him would constitute a betrayal of the "bond" between you and your newborn?